Who Am I ?
by AbbieWalters
Summary: Brendan is in a treatment centre and has been given a new name Simon, he doesn't know why he is there. But two people from his past try, and help him to figure out who he is. Crap title and summery I'm sorry. This also has a bit of In a The Flesh with it as well, I hope you like it. Also Kieren from in the flesh is in this. Photo is drawn by Gay Love Fan Arts
1. Chapter 1

This is a Stendan fan fic, but it's got a bit of a In The Flesh twist. It's only going to have a few chapters, but if you don't like it after the first chapter, then I know not to carry it on.

I have never written a fic like this before, so you might have to be patient with me and while I update it.

Sorry for the spelling mistakes that are in this.

Chapter 1

Xx

Hello there, my name is Simon Monroe. I'm sat here in my room in this kind of centre in Norfolk, the people here call it a treatment centre, and I haven't got a clue why I'm here, I think I have been here for a while but I'm not too sure, because they aren't telling us anything. I look at my hands and the look pale as hell, and I notice that the ends of my finger nails are a bluely greyed colour. I look in the mirror on the wall as well, I notice that the colour in my face is different, it's a more paler colour than it should be, and I don't have a moustache but it feels like I have had one before.

This treatment centres tannoy goes off, I get a guard coming to my room to tell me that I have some visitors, but I've never seen anyone at my time here. I leave the room, I follow the guard down the corridor and we walk into the visiting room. I see a few of the people I have made friends with here, I see Kieren and he is chatting to his family and he looks very happy speaking to them, I wonder if he is going to tell them about us.

As I get closer to my seat in the visiting room, two people start to stand up and look at me and they start crying when they see me. Have I seen these people before? If so where and when I have I met them? These are questions I want to ask them.

I see the woman coming over crying to me, I notice that she has this big 'OMG' necklace on. I see this man sat down and he is crying as well, he stands up and comes over to me. He places a kiss on to my fore head, and it brings a burst of life that I have never had before. Kieren my roommate kissed me last night, I felt nothing from what he did to what this man has just done.

He sits back down, so does the woman. I place my hands on the table and they both take hold of my hands. They tightly squeeze my hands, I give them a small smile, but I can't recognise these people.

"Hey Brendan, how are you?"

"Urm, I don't have a clue who this Brendan is. My name is Simon so, you might have to help me a bit."

The woman starts to cry again, so does this man. They keep on looking at me, and I can't help but feel sorry for them. They think I am this person that they know, but I'm not, I keep on looking at the man in front of me and I can't help but think I have seen him before.

" Excuse me young man, but can you tell me your name, I can't remember you, but I think I have see you some where before?"

" My name is Ste or Steven as you liked to call me, and we first met in a club in Hollyoaks called ChezChez. And this is your sister Cheryl sitting beside me.

" Oh right, I wasn't aware that I had a sister. And why are you here Steven, if you don't mind me asking?"

" I'm your boyfriend"

" You can't be, I already have a boyfriend and he is called Kieren"

" No! I am your boyfriend, we have been together for three years on and off"

" Nope, I'm sorry I can't remember you."

" Do you know, how you ended up in here?"

" No I don't know, I can't remember anything. All I know is that, I have a boyfriend call Kieren and I'm getting released from here tomorrow afternoon and we are going to stay with his mam, dad and sister in Roarton."

" Well we will come and see you again tomorrow, we will bring a few photos with us to see if anything can jog your memory. I might bring my kids with me as well, to see if you can remember them."

" Well it's been nice meeting the both of you, but I have to go now. I need to get my bag packed for tomorrow afternoon, but I can see you both again before I go."

I stand up and so do they, my supposedly sister Cheryl and my supposedly boyfriend Steven come up to me and they hug me. With this Steven, it feels like I have knowing him before, but I will ask them more questions tomorrow. My cell mate Kieren comes over, he smiles at me and he does the same to Cheryl and Steven. Kieren takes hold of my hand, and I can see a change in Steven's face, his expression drops when he seen Kieren take hold of my hand.

I say sorry to Cheryl and Steven, and I tell them I'm sorry that I couldn't help them. They tell me it doesn't matter and that they will see me tomorrow, Cheryl gives me a kiss on my cheek and Steven just gives me a hand shake. I say my goodbyes to them, they say it back and Steven and Cheryl leave. Once they have gone, me and Kieren go back to our room and he starts kissing me. I feel nothing when he kisses me, not like when Steven did before.

Kieren can tell that something has changed between us, he stops the kissing and he sits on the end of my bed. He takes hold of my hand, he squeezes it and he get's his free hand and places it on my face, so that I am looking up at him.

" Simon are you okay, when those people visited it's like they knew you"

" Yeah I noticed that, they called me by this name Brendan. I don't know who they are, but they are coming back tomorrow morning and they said that they are going to bring some stuff with them so that they can jog my memory"

" Oh right that must be good for you, my family is coming to pick me up tomorrow. So you can get to see them then if you want, or you can go with them two people that came here before. I seen the way that man had kissed you, and it looked like you remember him. Did you remember him?"

" Kieren, I have never seen him or the woman before. But their names, it's like I have heard them before, but I don't know when. I will be able to ask them more in the morning, you can come with me if you want. You can intrude yourself to them."

" Yeah, I might just do that. How about we get some sleep, we need all our energy for the morning when we leave, or if you leave with the other people."

" Kier, I'm leaving with you. Nothing can stop me from doing that. Cause I love you, and there is nothing you can do that will make me stop loving you, nothing."

" I love you too Simon."

We both lean forwards and we start kissing, this kiss isn't passionate like out other kisses, but I'm trying not to disappoint Kieren. We lean down on the bed, Kieren take hold of my hand, he squeezes it to let me know that I ain't going anywhere. But what I'm I going to do, when I see this Cheryl, Steven and these kids they are bringing with them? Can I live a lie and tell them I don't know them, and move on with Kieren? Or do I pluck up the courage and help this Cheryl and Steven to find out who I am?

I see that Kieren has fallen to sleep, so I do the same. I know that tomorrow will be a long day, but this might be that day that I can get some information on why I am here and why I look so pale and different to them. I place my arm over Kieren's body and I fall to sleep.

Xx

I would love a review to tell me what you think, if you don't like it then please tell me and I will take it down.

This is an Stendan fic with some In The Flesh integrated into it, it might be a couple of days for the next chapter, but if you want anything added into it, then please tell me and I can do it.


	2. Chapter 2

I would like to thank, Stormzzz, Alternative artist, NickyM1 and the two Guest reviewers and mesho200in, for their amazing reviews for this fic. Here is the next chapter, quite a longer chapter than the first one I think.

I hope you, enjoy this next chapter.

Sorry for the spelling mistakes that are in is, that if there is any mistakes.

Authors notes : references of death

Chapter 2

Xx

I get woken up by Kieren, he places soft kisses onto my lips and he pulls away, when he realises that I'm not kissing him back. He's got this scared loo on his face, he thinks that I'm going to be taken away from him, but I don't know what will happen today.

" Kier, what's wrong? You can tell me you know."

" I don't, want you to leave me. I'm scared, just incase you remember those people, and you go away with them, and you won't want to see me anymore"

" Kier, I will never leave you. Even if I start to remember who those people are, I won't be going with them. I will be going, with you."

" But say incase you do remember them, all ways know that I will love you and to have a good life with them."

I was going to say something back to him, but the guard from yesterday stoops me. He tells me, that the people are here again and they have borough some other people with them to see me.

I get up from my bed, I ask Kieren if he is coming with me. He's says yes, I know this will be hard for him, but I still need these questions answered by Cheryl and Steven. Me and Kieren follow the guard down the hallway again and we enter the visiting room for the final time.

I see that Steven and Cheryl are sat down, but this time they have two small people with them. When me and Kieren sit down on the chairs, the two little people look at me and they have smiles on their faces as if they remember me.

" Hello daddy Brendan"

" Leah! What did I say in the car, let the man speak first"

" Sorry daddy"

" How are you Simon?"

" Yeah I'm good Steven, your little girl looks a lot like you. So does your little boy as well."

" Yeah, Lucas is more like me and Leah is more like her mother."

" How are you, Cheryl?"

" Yeah I'm good thanks, I take it your waiting more stuff answered from us?"

" Yeah I do. Do you both know why I am here and what this name Brendan means to me?"

" Yes, you used to be called Brendan Brady. You have two kid, a loving boyfriend and me your loving sister. You went to prison, when you took the blame for killing our father."

Cheryl stops there, I can remember being in prison. But I couldn't remember what it was for. But I didn't know that I had a dad, I don't want to push Cheryl anymore for his name, I could tell in her eyes that it was hard for her to tell me that.

" Me and Steven where going to visit you in prison a couple of months ago, but we got a phone call to say that you had died. After a few months you had died, we got another phone call but this time it was from hear, to say that you where in here getting treatment and they wanted us to come and see you."

" So, I died in prison. Do you know what killed me, or how I got killed?"

" One of the prison guards had phoned us up, they told us that you had killed yourself. Because reality hit you in the face, and you where missing your loved ones so much. And that's how you killed yourself, took a knife to your throat. I'm sorry Bren... Oh shit I'm mean sorry Simon."

" Hey it's okay, thank you for telling me Cheryl. So you say this Brendan has two kids?"

" Yeah he does, two amazing boys that look the double of him."

" How old are the both of them, if you don't mind me asking?"

" The older one is 17 and the younger one is 12."

" They aren't called Declan and Padraig are they?"

" OMG, yeah they are. How do you remember their names?"

" I just can, for some reason. Do you have any photos of them?"

Cheryl goes into her handbag, she brings out the photos of Declan and Padraig for me to see. She places them on the table, I take hold of both of the photos and I can remember these two kids. I have a smile on my face when I see them, god I haven't seen them in a long time.

Cheryl can see the smile on my face,she looks as if she is about to cry. I place the photos back down on the table, and Cheryl takes hold of my hands and she smiles at me.

" Hey Simon, I take it you can remember them?"

" Yeah I can, they are my kids, or should I say Brendan's kids. I want to see them,in want to see if they still remember me"

" Of course, they can remember you. They would like to se you as well,they are staying with us in Hollyoaks."

" I want to see them, when I leave here today. But I want Kieren to come with me, I want him to see these kids."

" Yeah, of course Kieren can come with us. I bet Declan and Padraig would love to see him."

" Urm, I better go and take Leah and Lucas backs there won't be enough room in the car. I won't be long though."

" Ste, I will do it. You stay here with Simon and Kieren, I will text you when I'm back."

" No Chez, I will do it. I need some time to think things through."

" Okay babe, text me when your back."

" Will do. Kids say goodbye to Simon and Kieren."

" Bye bye Simon and Kieren, see you soon."

" Yeah you will do kids."

" Bye Leah, bye Lucas."

" Bye Kieren"

Steven gets up from his chair,he takes hold of Leah and Lucas's hands. Leah and Lucas smile at me, they give me air kisses and hugs, Steven just shakes my hand again and he ignores Kieren. I really need to see what the matter is with Steven, when we get back to Hollyoaks.

When Steven leaves the treatment centre, it's like something has gripped over my heart and is twisting it, cause I don't want Steven to leave me. Kieren notices this and he tells me that, he is going to our room to pack our cloths that we had risen in. When he leaves, he lets me and Cheryl have a long chat and we talk about Declan and Padraig.

Xx

The guard comes to our table and tells me, that I need to go and get sorted out for when I leave the treatment centre. I tell Cheryl that I won't be long and she says okay, when I leave the visiting room I see Kieren and his family talking.

I ask Kieren where he is going, and he tells me that he is leaving early. I ask him why and he tells me, that we need to move on and to meet other people, he tells me that he has left his house number on my bed. And to call him, when I arrive in Hollyoaks.

We both lean in for a kiss goodbye, we say goodbye to one another when we stop kissing. I say the same to his family, I know I never got the chance to meet them but they look like nice people.

When I arrive at my room, I get changed out of my clothes and change into the new ones that are on my bed. I see that the cover up mousse is on the table, and so are the eye contacts. I pick up the cover mouse and the sponge to go with it. I head to the mirror and I take off the lid that is on the cover mousse, and I place some on to the sponge.

Once I have the cover up mousse on my face, I place the lid back on it and place it in to my bag and the other boxes of cover up mousse. I head back to the table, and put my eye contacts in. When I have done that, I put the rest of my eye contacts in my bag and I look in the mirror again.

While looking in the mirror, I wonder when I get to Hollyaoks, that people will remember me or that I will remember them. The guard comes back to my room, and tells me that Dr. Russo, wants to see me before I leave.

I pick up my bag, and the piece of paper that has fallen on to the floor. I pick it up and realise that it has Kieren's number on it,I take a look at it and place it into my pocket. I take one more look around the room and it's sad that I'm leaving here. I head our of the room with the guard, and we head to Dr. Russo's room.

As soon as I get to Russo's room, he tells me to sit down so he can give me my medication. Neurotriptyline, this medication helps me, it stops me from turning rabid. Once Russo has given me my shot, he gives me a few boxes of the medication to keep me going until I need some more.

He tells me that he would be visiting Hollyoaks soon, and he said he would hope to see me there. He tells me to be careful in the village, and not to take any Blue Oblivion pills as it would turn me rabid.

I say my goodbye's to Russo, and he bids me goodbye as well. The guard is still waiting outside, he walks me back to the visiting room, and Cheryl and Steven are there waiting for me. Cheryl looks shocked to see me, with the cover up mouse on and my eye contacts in. They ask me where Kieren has gone, and I tell them that he has gone home with his family, and that we have broken up.

Cheryl tells me that she is sorry that me and Kieren have broken up, I tell her it doesn't matter as I want to meet someone else. Steven comes over to me and takes the bag out of my hand, Cheryl comes closer to me and she links one of her arms around mine.

As we walk out of the treatment centre, I look back at all the people I have made friends with here, a few of them come over to me and we say goodbye. Once I say my goodbyes to them, we walk a little bit further and then we are at Steven's car. Cheryl announces that she will drive back to Hollyoaks, and that Steven can sit in the back of the car with me.

We get in the car and I sit behind the drivers seat, while Steven sits behind the passengers seat. As soon as Cheryl's starts the car, we head out of the treatment centre and drives off to Hollyoaks, and I fall to sleep.

Xx

I get woken up by Steven, he tells me that we are at his home in Hollyoaks. I take a look out the window, and look towards the house. And it feels like I have stayed here before, I unbuckle my seat belt and I open the car door, I get out of the car and so does Steven.

Steven goes to the boot of the car, and he gets my bag. I walk up to the house, and I stop at the door. Steven tells Cheryl to go inside, and to see if the kids are okay, I tell Steven that I'm okay. He gives me a small smile, he tells me to walk in and that Declan and Padraig are waiting to see me.

When I walk into the house, I see that Declan and Padraig are sat in the floor and they are playing with Leah, Lucas and a little baby girl. Cheryl goes to pick her up, she comes back over to me and introduces the baby name to me Lynsey.

I freeze for a moment and I remember the name, I knew a Lynsey, she was a friend of mine, but she died. She got killed by a Dr. Paul Browning, I ask Cheryl if I can hold her and she says yes. When she gives me Lynsey, I smile down at the baby and she looks the double of the Lynsey I knew once before.

Lynsey starts to cry, so I hand her back to Cheryl. She tells me to go into the living room properly to see Declan and Padraig, when I head there Steven moves out of his seat and he offers it to me.

I accept his offer and sit down on the chair, that is still warm. I look at Declan and Padraig, they look like they are amazing kids. I'm knocked out of my daydream, when Padraig throws himself at me.

Cheryl tells him off, but I tell her it's fine. Padraig pulls me into another hug, and I start to remember things about him. His first day at school, his first words and other things that I can think of.

When I stop the hug, Declan comes over to see me and he pulls me into a hug as well. I can start to remember things about him as well, his first day at school and when we where at the hospital, and we got told that he had a problem with his balance.

He pulls away from me, and he looks at my face to see if I remember him. It only takes him a moment to see, that I have a smile on his face and that I can sort of remember him.

Padraig tells Leah to come over to me, when she does she lift her arms up and I pick her up. I place her onto my knees and she snuggles into me, she starts singing a song and I can sort of remember the lyrics to that song.

_'I kissed a girl and I liked it,  
the taste of her cherry chapstick.  
I kissed a girl just to try it,  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it.'_

That's all I can think of, I see that Steven comes back through to the living room and he has a cup of coffee for me. He sees that Leah is sitting down on my knee, so he places the cup on the table beside me. I will have to tell him soon, that I can't drink or eat as it makes me sick.

Leah get's down from my knee, she goes over to Lucas and she pulls him towards me. Lucas lifts his arms up as well so, I pick him up to and hug him. Once I hug him, I get this feeling that I have shouted at him and Leah before.

Lucas looks up at me and he gives me a kiss on my cheek, and I can start to remember these kids. I don't tell anyone yet, I just keep it to myself for now. I will tell the kids first, but just one at a time. I will tell Declan first, then Padraig and then Leah and Lucas at the same time.

" Hey Simon, you alright? You look happy, for some reason."

" Yeah I'm good Steven, I'm just happy that I've met Declan and Padraig. And I want to keep on seeing them."

" Simon, you don't have to leave here. You can stay all the time, this house is big enough of all of us to stay in."

" Oh right, I didn't know. Thank you for letting me staying here, I won't get under your way though, but I will want to leave and have a wander around the village."

" Yeah, that might be good for you. How about we save that for tomorrow, and we just stay inside tonight?"

" Okay. Urm, you or Cheryl might have to help me with my medication."

" Yeah, I will help you. When are you needing to take some more?"

" Erm, in the next hour I think. I'm not to sure, you might have to phone Dr. Russo and ask him."

" Chez, can you do that now please?"

" Course Ste."

Cheryl goes to phone Dr. Russo, she goes into the kitchen so that kids don't heart he phone call. She comes back through to the living room, to tell me that Dr. Russo wants to tell me for myself. I take the phone off Cheryl, and I go into the kitchen.

Dr. Russo tells me that he won't be seeing me, for a good while as there is something wrong, with the rest of the people in the treatment centre. But he did tell me that he would be up soon, I tell him it doesn't matter.

He tells me that I need my medication in the next hour, he asks if anyone will help me with it and I tell him that Steven will. I tell him I need to go, and he tells me to be careful in the village.

I say goodbye to him and I hand up the phone, I put the phone down on the kitchen unit and I head back into the living room. Steven asks me if I would like something to eat, and I tell him no. He gives me a small smile, and he heads to the kitchen to make something, for the rest of the group.

Xx

Once everyone has eaten, Steven put Leah, Lucas and Lynsey to bed. Declan and Padraig go as well to let me, Cheryl and Steven talk. Once Steven comes back into the living room, I tell him that I need my medication. He opens my bag and gets the stuff out, Steven looks at the instructions and he tells me he knows what to do.

I tell Cheryl to keep hold of me, as I have a small fit when I have my medication. Steven gets the stuff ready he walks behind me, and he lifts my neck of my top down. He gets the syringe read, and places it at the hole that is on my back. When he sticks in the syringe in, he pushes it in and presses the leaver, for the medication to enter me.

I start to shake a bit, Cheryl keeps tight hold of me and so does Steven, once he had finished putting the medication in me. Once I stop shaking, I look up and Cheryl and she smiles at me. Steven walks back into the kitchen, and washes his hands. Once he has done, he comes back into the living room and he smiles back at me.

I smile back at the both of them, Cheryl announces that he is going to bed. She kisses me on my forehead and she does the same to Steven. Once she has gone, I tell Steven that I am tired as well. He tells me that I can sleep in his bed, and that he can sleep on the couch.

I say that it is a stupid idea, and tell him that he can share the bed with me. He tells me no, but I don't listen to him and I grab his arm, and I drag him down to his bedroom. Once we are in there Steven closes the door, and he starts to strip out of his clothes and put some pyjamas on.

I do the same, I get the pyjamas out of my bag and I put them on. Once I have done that, I see that Steven has a mirror, I go up to it and I use and old cloth that was in my bag and I wipe off the cover mouse that is on my face. Once the mousse is off, I take out my eye contacts and I look at myself in the mirror. I look away from the mirror and I look at Steven and he is smiling at me and I do the same back to him, he get's in one side of the bed and I get in the other side.

Once we are in the bed Steven pulls the cover over us, he turned on to his side and puts on of his arms over my body. I take hold of his hand that is on my body, and we fall to sleep together.

Xx

Please review, and tell me what you think of this chapter.

I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, I don't know how many more will be left after this one.

In the next chapter, Simon/Brendan will phone up Kieren and see how he is.

The next chapter will be up soon, but I don't know when.


	3. Chapter 3

I would like to thank, Alternative artist, ForeverUlove, Stormzzz and the guest reviewer for their amazing reviews. Here is the next chapter, another long one I think, I hope you like it.

I would also like to thank Gay Love Fan Art on tumblr, for allowing me to use the photo for this fic :D.

Authors notes : references of a gun, and mild swearing .

Chapter 3

Xx

It's me that wakes up first this time, I check the time on the clock and it's 9:30m. I feel around the bed and see it's empty, I get out of the bed and walk over to the table and mirror. I pick up my bag and open it, I take out the over up mousse and some fresh eye contacts.

I pick up the sponge, and take the lid off the tub of mouses. I place the mouse on the sponge and place it all over my face, doing one part at a time so I don't forget any. Once I have done that, I place it back on the table, I pick up the fresh eye contacts and place them into my eyes slowly.

When I have done that, I take off my pyjamas and get changed. I put on the same jeans I had on yesterday, but I put a different top on. I check me jean pockets to see if Kieren's numbers is there, and it is. I place it back into my jean pocket and walk out of the bedroom.

I walk down the hallway, and I hear kids screaming with laughter. As I get closer to the living room, I see that Steven is playing with them. When Cheryl sees me, she has a smile on her face. I walk into the living room and I sit down on the sofa that is free. I look at Steven and I have a smile on my face, as I see him playing with Leah, Lucas and Padraig.

Steven sees me looking at him, he returns his smile and he stops playing with the kids. He stands up and sits next to me on the sofa, he tells the kids to go and get changed so we could all go out. Once they had left, Steven gets my medication ready and gives it to Cheryl, he shows her how to do it.

He places the syringe at the hole on my back and comes back to keep hold of me. When Cheryl pushes the medication into me, I shake just a little bit, but Steven still keeps hold of me until I stop.

Once they are done, Cheryl goes to wash her hands and the kids come back through with Declan and Lynsey. I ask Steven if I can give Kieren I quick call, he says yes with a grunt. I don't know why he is like this, he knows me and Kieren have broken up.

I take the phone off it's handset, and go into the kitchen with it. I take the pice of paper out with Kieren's number out of my pocket and I type in the numbers into the phone. I press the call button, and I wait for him to pick up. It only rings three times, and Kieren picks up.

" Hey Kier, how are you?"

" Yeah Simon, I'm good. How are you?"

" I'm good too, you doing anything nice today?"

" Yeah, I'm going out with Jem, and we are going to see my new friend Rick, that I'm going to move on with."

" Oh good, it's in that you have found someone else to move on with."

" I know, how about you Simon? Are you doing anything nice today?"

" Yeah. Me, Steven, Cheryl and the kids are going into the village. We are going to see if I can, get a bit of my memory back."

" Cool, I hope you can get it back for them. I need to go now Simon, so I take it we go our separate ways now with the new people we have met?"

" Yeah, I guess we do. You know I will love you, Kieren don't you?"

" Yeah, I know. But you will love that Ste more, won't you?"

" I don't know yet, I need to go as well now. Phone you some time during the week Kier?"

" No! This is the last time, I'm sorry Simon. But you can phone me to say that you and Ste are together, but that is it. I don't want to be second best, you deserve to spend the rest of your life with Ste, and that's it. Okay?"

" Yeah okay, bye Kieren."

" Bye Simon."

Kieren hangs up the phone, I place the phone on the kitchen unit and walk back into the living room. I see that everyone is waiting for me, I tell them that I need to go and get my coat from my bag and then we can go.

I head to the bedroom, and I get my coat from my bag. I turn around and leave the bedroom, and I see Steven in the door way. I walk up to him and he stops me, he places a hand on my face and pulls me toward his own face.

He pushes our foreheads together, and we stay like that for a little. He looks up at me and moved to kiss me, he places his warm lips on to mine and we start moving our lips together in sync. We stop as we hear the kids telling us to hurry up, we walk out of the bedroom and walk into the living room.

Padraig takes hold of my left hand, while Steven takes hold of my right hand. Declan takes hold of Lucas and Leah's hands, while Cheryl has the pram with Lynsey inside.

We all walk out of the house, Cheryl is the last one out and so she locks the front door. When she has done that, we walk down the long path and we head into the village.

Xx

Once we head into the village, something's start to come back to me slowly. I see a shop called Price Slice, I've been in that shop before, it's not a big shop but it's alright. I see a club called the Loft, the outside of the club look familiar.

That's when it comes back to me, that it was called ChezChez. Steven looks at my face I think he can tell that I remember,it but I'm not going to say anything just yet as I want to surprise them when I have my memory fully back.

We walk around the village for a bit, until the kids say they are hungry. We walk a fir bit, until we get to a pub called 'The Dog In the Pond'. We let Cheryl go in first and then the kids, me and Steven wait for a little bit. He squeezes my hand to let me know everything will be okay. I give him a small smile, and we enter the pub.

I get a few stares when I walk in, but they don't seem to care, as they just go back to what they where doing before. Steven asks me if I want anything to eat or drink, I politely say no. I still need to tell them, that I can't eat or drink.

I sit at the table with Cheryl and the kids, while Steven and Declan go to the bar. Steven and Declan come back to the table with a few of the drinks, another person is helping them with the rest.

I feel like I know this person, but I'm going to wait until they introduce themselves. But it's Cheryl that speaks to them first, after she has had a hug with them.

" Hey Nancy, how you doing?"

" Hey Cheryl, yeah I'm good. How are you?" And who is this little beaut?"

" I'm good, and this is Lynsey."

" Oh she's beautiful, she even looks a bit like Lynsey as well."

" Yeah, she does."

" Oh, hey Brendan. How are you? You look good, are you trying out some new stuff?"

" Hey Nancy, yeah I'm good too. Yeah I am trying out new stuff, you like it?"

" Yeah, it looks good. See you soon, I need to go and help Darren out."

When she leaves, I think I can remember her, but I will give my memory a bit of time, to remember her. We all sit chatting to one another, when a cough interrupts us. I look at this person and I have never seen them before, Steven shakes their hand and I wonder if this is Steven's new boyfriend. I don't want to push it anymore, as my heart starts to break a little bit.

" Hey Ste, How are you?"

" Yeah, I'm good Dad. Where's Sam, Tegan, Peri and Leela.?

" They are here now, why don't we all sit with you?"

" Yeah, okay then."

So Steven says Dad, will that makes me a bit better. We all squash up around the table, Steven and Cheryl sit side by side me. Steven's Dad and his wife, sit in front of me. I nudge Steven's knee, and he seems to know what I need.

We both excuse our selves from the table and we head to the toilet. Once we are in the men's toilet, Steven gets the stuff ready. Before Steven has the chance to put the stuff inside me, Nancy's husband comes through in to the toilets.

Steven tells Darren to keep hold of me, when he puts the syringe inside my hole. He presses the leaver and the medication, runs through my body. Darren keeps hold of me, while I shake a little bit again. Once I stop, Darren and Steven wash their hands, I smile at the both of them and say thank you.

Darren leaves the toilets, so it's just me and Steven alone. I walk up to him, I take hold of his hand and interlock our fingers. I pull him towards me, and I give him a long hug.

He looks up at me and we kiss again, it's a bit more passionate this time. These kisses we are having have been amazing, and I want to carry them on with him. And I find myself, being dragged away from Steven by his Dad.

I'm pinned to the wall by, Steven's Dad. Steven is screaming at his Dad to let me go, but he isn't listening to his son.

" You fucking disgusting animal, you keep away from my son now"

" Danny, stop. What the hell are you doing?"

" Stopping this rabid bastard, from killing you. Ste, go and get Sam's gun, I'm going to kill him before he does any harm to anyone."

" No! I'm not going. And he's not rabid, I was giving him his medication to prevent it from happening."

" I don't care son, he needs to be shot. He could turn rabid, without you knowing it."

" He won't, I'm going to take care of him. I know who he is and he won't turn rabid."

" Whatever Ste, don't come crying to me when he eats Leah and Lucas."

" I won't, I know my own boyfriend, and I know he do anything to hurt my family,"

Danny left the bathroom, I didn't know he hated people like us. I can't believe that Steven stuck up for me, like that. I see him crying, so I pull him into another hug and I wrap my arms around him.

When he stops, I pull away and kiss him on his forehead. I move away, he smiles at me and he tells me he is sorry about his Dad for doing that. I tell him it's alright. As I would hurt him or his family. Cause his family is my family now. Steven cleans himself up, once he is done, he puts away my medication in a bag and we leave the bathroom.

When we head back to out table, we see that Steven's other family has gone. Cheryl looks like she is going to say something to Steven and me, but Steven stops her. Steven tells her that we are leaving, but I stop Steven and tell him to sit down and to eat his food.

I give him a small smile and he gives me one back, and he sits back down in his seat. When he sits down, he also calms himself down as well and he starts to eat his food while smiling at me.

Xx

When Steven, Cheryl and the kids have finished eating. He checks the time on his phone and it says 6:30pm. Cheryl goes to pay for all the food and drinks, while Steven puts Lynsey in her pram. Declan as so makes sure, that the kids have their coats on as well.

When Cheryl comes back, we leave the pub. As we walk home, we get stopped by, Steven's sisters. They say they are sorry for their Dad's outburst before in the toilets, and I tell them that it's okay.

Steven tells his sisters, that he doesn't want out to do with Danny anymore. Tegan says she understands what he means. As she would be like that to Danny as well,if was nasty to her boyfriend.

The girls left us when Danny had phoned them, they said that they would come and see us tomorrow without, telling Danny where they where going. They said their goodbyes to us and they hug Steven, Cheryl and the kids. They even hugged, me as well.

Once they had left, we started to walk back home. I had hold of Steven's hand and Padraig's and, while Declan had hold of Lucas and Leah's hands again. When we arrived back home, Cheryl went inside with Lynsey, Declan, Leah, Lucas and Padraig went in as well. Me and Steven where the last ones to go in, Steven shut the door and he told Padraig, Leah and Lucas to go and get their pyjamas on.

I ask Steven if we could watch a DVD, he says yes and that him and Cheryl could go and rent some. I tell him that I can look after the kids, but they would have to take Lynsey with them, as I wouldn't know what to do with her when she cries. Steven says yes and he goes to tell Cheryl, and they leave.

When they have gone I take off my coat and go into the living room and wait for the kids. When they come through, they sit down on the floor. They all look up at me and I need to have that chat with them, that I have started to remember them now.

" Hey kids, you okay?"

" Yeah, we are all good Simon."

" Simon? Who's Simon, all I know is I'm Brendan Brady."

" What... Daddy Brendan, you remember?"

" Of course I do, darling. Declan, Padraig are you both okay, or is this a bit too much for you?"

" Yeah, it kind of is Dad. I just can't believe you have remembered us, what about Cheryl and Ste? Do you remember them?"

" It's coming back slowly, my memory of them two but I will get it back soon. But I need you all to do me a favour, you have to keep quiet about this, I want to tell Steven and Cheryl in my own time. Okay?

" Of course, Dad."

" Yup Daddy Brendan."

" Good, now how about you all come and give Daddy Brendan a hug."

" Okay."

Once I told them who I was and that I started to remember them, it felt good. I didn't have to keep it in, for as long as I thought I would have to. After I had told them, they came over to me and they all hugged me. We stopped hugging, when we heard the door opening.

Cheryl and Steven came in with two bags, one filled with a few DVDs and the other one filled with other stuff. Cheryl goes and puts Lynsey to be, while Steven comes through to the living room with both bags and he tells us what they a bought.

" Well we got, Iron Man 3, Despicable Me 2, Monsters University, The Smurfs 2, Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2 and Frozen. We got them on a good deal. Plus we got loads of sweets and popcorn too."

" Sounds a good choice of DVDs, there Steven."

" I know right, so which ones do you want to watch."

" Despicable Me 2, please Daddy?"

" Is everyone okay with that?"

" Yeah I'm fine with it Ste"

" Go on Steven, let the kids watch it. Oh and I need help again."

" Yeah, let's go into the kitchen and I can sort it out for you."

" Okay."

Steven put the DVD on for the kids, once he pressed play he walked into the kitchen with me and we got ready for my medication. Cheryl came through, and she helped us as well. Once they got the stuff ready, I lifted my shirt over my head and knelt on my knees when Steven puts the medication in me,

When we where done, I shook a for a little bit but that was it. Cheryl and Steven washed their hands, and I stood up to put my shirt back on. When I had my shirt on, I went back into the living room and sat on the sofa. Steven come through and sat on the same sofa as me, he took hold of my hand and he interlocked our fingers, he also place a kiss on to my lips and we watched the DVD.

Xx

Once the movie had finished, all of the kids had fallen to sleep. Steven lifted up Leah, Lucas and Padraig followed him as he took them to bed. Declan was still awake, so me and him where having a good chat, while Cheryl went to check on Lynsey.

Cheryl came back through to say she was off to bed, Steven said okay. She went to kiss him on his forehead, she did that same to Declan and then she did the same to me as well. Once she had gone, me and Declan where still talking, while Steven was cleaning up the kids mess they had made.

Declan started nodding off to sleep, while he was talking to me. I tell him to go to bed, he agrees with me. He comes over to me and gives me a hug, he says 'night Dad' in a quiet voice so Steven doesn't hear him.

Once Steven has finished cleaning up, Declan goes to hug him and he says goodnight to the both of us. We say it back to him, once Declan has gone Steven sits down beside me on the sofa again.

We watch a bit more TV, until we both fell tired. Steven gets up from the sofa, and he walks to the front door, to make sure he has locked it. Once he has done that, he knocks off the lights off in the hallway and comes back in to the living to do the same.

He knocks off the TV first, after he has done that, he comes towards me. He takes hold of my hand, and he pulls me off the sofa. We knock the lights off that lead to the living, once they where off we walked into Steven's bedroom.

Once we are in his bedroom, I shut the door and walk up to the mirror again. I use the cloth again and wipe off the cover up mousse, and I also take out the eye contacts. When I have done this, I get out of my clothes and put my pyjamas back on.

Steven gets changed as well, we both get in the bed and we start kissing. When I stop our passionate kissing, Steven grabs hold of my hand and interlocks our fingers again.

" Hey Simon?"

" Yeah?"

" Why don't you eat or drink anymore?"

" Well ever since, this thing happened to me, I react to food and the same goes for drinking as well. I'm sorry, I should have told you before now."

" Aww it's fine, do you fancy getting some sleep?"

" Yeah go on then."

We get ourselves comfy on the bed, and we put the cover over us. Once we are bedded down, I put my arm around Steven and he snuggles into my chest. I slowly start to remember, that me and Steven did this in a past life.

We start to drift off to sleep, and I have a smile on my face. Knowing that in the morning when I wake up, I will be waking with Steven by my side and I'm going to love spending the rest of my time with him.

Xx

Please review and tell me what you think of it

I hope you liked this chapter, next chapter will be up sometime this week if I can do it.

I'm sorry if there is any spelling mistake in this, only a few more chapters to go and that will be it.

Just a bit of what is going to happen in the next chapter of this fic, 'in the next chapter Brendan/Simon will start to remember Ste and Cheryl slowly'


	4. Chapter 4

I would like to thank, NickyM1, Mesho2000in, Stormzzz, Alternative artist, elijahlover, Sey77, ForeverUlove and the guest reviewer for their amazing and wonderful reviews. And to anyone else that has read this story.

In this chapter, Brendan/Simon will start to remember Ste.

There might only be a few chapters left, I don't yet.

Sorry for the spelling mistakes.

Hope you enjoy this next chapter.

Authors notes : mild swearing and references of death.

Chapter 4

Xx

Me and Steven get woken, by a knock on the bedroom door. Cheryl opens the door and pokes her head through, she tells me that Dr Tom Russo is here to see me. I tell her that I will be out soon, as I want to wake up a bit more.

She nods her head and shuts the door again, Steven is sitting up on the bed properly now and he pulls me up to were he is. He kisses me and gives me a hug as well, I'm sure he said he loves me, but I won't push it yet. I remove myself from him, and get out of the bed, and he does the same. We take hold of each other's hands, and we walk into the living room.

When we walk into the living room, I see that Dr. Russo is talking to Cheryl and the kids. With them all dressed, I ask Cheryl if she could take them out, but I ask Declan to stay, as I want different people around, when I'm having my medication taken.

She says yes, she puts Lynsey in her pram and Leah, Lucas and Padraig come over to give me a hug before they leave. They put their coats on, and they leave the house. Cheryl said she would call us, when she is coming back home with them.

Steven says okay, she shuts the door when they leave. He ask Dr. Russo if he wants a drink, but he says no as he is not stopping long. Steven almost asks me, until he remembered what I told him last night.

" So Simon, how are you?"

" Yeah I'm good, I take it this is just a normal check up, to see if I'm okay?"

" Yes it is I shouldn't be long as I want to see if Ste, is giving you your medication properly. And there is a few questions, I want to ask you."

" Yeah okay."

" Ste, come and show me, how your giving Simon his medication."

" Okay."

Steven gets the medication ready for me, he goes behind me and he shows Dr. Russo how he puts the medication into me. I tell Declan to hold me for a bit, while I shake. When they are done, Tom tells me that he is happy, and that he happy that I'm getting medicated properly.

" So Simon, how long do you keep your eye contacts in for?"

" Only when I go out, and when I wake up in the morning. So I don't scare the kids."

" That's good, what about your cover up mousse? How long do you keep that on for?"

" The same as they eye contacts, only I go out. And I take it off, when I'm going to bed."

" That's good, at what your doing. At least your learning what your doing properly, some people keep it on all the time."

" Oh well, at least I'm doing something right."

Xx

After having a long chat with Dr. Russo and I show him the door. Steven and Declan have finished washing their hands, and they come back through to the living room. They sit done for a little bit, until the door bell goes up to open the door, and he lets the person in.

The woman come through to the living room, and it looks like she is not happy to see me. But I don't know why as it feels like I don't know her, but then again maybe I do and my memory is being a bit slow for me. I was going to speak to her first, but she beat me to it.

" Ste, what the fuck is he doing here? He should be in prison, please don't say you have taken him back again?"

" Amy it's not what you think, please be calm and I will tell you what's going on."

" Ste what's there to tell me, you've taken back a murder. He murders people Ste, and he beat you up as well Ste if you remember. If you don't make him leave, I'm taking the kids back to Manchester with me right now."

" Just listen Amy, he's not the same as before. Just look into his eyes and his face and tell me you don't see a difference about him?"

" Oh my god Ste. Shit, have you called for your Dad, to come and get him?"

" Why would I need to call, my Dad for?"

" So he can kill him, Ste he will turn rabid with out you knowing it. He could kill the kids, Ste I'm taking them back with me today."

" Amy, he won't turn rabid. He's, taking medication, it stops him from turning rabid and the kids love Simon"

" Hang on Simon? I thought it was Brendan?"

" He can't remember who he is, he can't even remember me, Cheryl or the kids, that is why he is here for."

" Amy is it, I will never hurt yours and Steven's kids. Even though it don't know them, I will always look after them. I would treat the the same, if I had kids of my own."

" How do I know, you won't hurt them?"

" Let me prove it to you now, when they come back in. If your not happy with it, you can decide what to do, but don't take Steven's kids away just because of me."

" Fine, if one thing goes wrong, I will take them back today."

Amy sits on the sofa, that is next to the one I am sitting on. I get off the other sofa and tell Steven, that I'm going to get changed. He smiles at me and gives me a small peck on the lips.

I leave the living room, and I head to Steven's bedroom. Once I'm in there, I get out fresh clothes and get changed. I head to the mirror once I'm changed, and I put on the mousse and put in the fresh eye contacts.

When I'm done, I head back to the living room and I hear Leah and Lucas screaming in laughter. I walk back into the living room, and Padraig flings himself at me. I kneel down and pull him into a hug, I also do the same with Leah and Lucas. Padraig pulls away, and says he is hungry. So Steven goes off into the kitchen, and makes them all something to eat.

Xx

When they have all finished, the time is 5pm, Declan cleans the used dishes and I help him put them way. Steven comes through with the cups, and he tells me to go and play with Leah and Lucas.

I head to the living room and I sit down on the floor. Leah comes to me with two dolls I her hand, she gives me one of the dolls and she keeps the other one in her hand. She sits down beside me, and she takes the dolls that was in my hands off me.

She takes hold of the dolls, and she makes them hold hands. She places them on the floor, and she goes to get some paper and some colouring pencils. She comes back, to sit beside me and she starts to draw the dolls.

When she has finished drawing the dolls, she starts or colour them in. Once she had finished, she show it to me, it's a picture of me, Steven Leah Lucas, Declan and Padraig. I tell her it's a lovely picture, and I tell her to go and show it to Steven.

I see Steven take the picture off her, I hope he doesn't bit it. But he pins it to the wall, with some pins. He lifts her up, and he giver her a kiss on the cheek. He puts her back down on the floor, and she runs back into the living room. She sits in my knee, and she gives me a kiss on my cheek. So I give her, a kiss and a hug too.

Amy gets up from the sofa, and says she is leaving. She goes up to Steven, and tells him she's not taking the kids with her. I get up off the floor, and I got to stand next to Steven. Amy tells me she is sorry about before, I tells her it's fine and that it's not her fault as she didn't know how I would look.

I hold my hand out for her to shake, but she doesn't take it and she pulls me into a hug instead. She says sorry again, but I remind her that's it okay. The kids comes through to the kitchen, and they hugged her goodbye, she tells them to behave and they said that they would. We all wave Amy goodbye, once she gets into the taxi.

When she has gone, we go and sit down in the living room. I nick the remote off Steven, and put it on the Sports channels. We watch the match that is ready for starting to play witch is, Manchester City vs West Brom.

It doesn't take long for me to get bored of the match, Steven can tell that I'm not interested in it. He suggests that me and him, go out of a walk in the village. He tells Cheryl what we are doing, and he nods her head.

She asks Steven what time the kids have to be in bed by he tells her they have to be in bed by 7pm, that's if we are not back in time. We go into the hallway and put on our coats, Steven opens the door and we leave.

Xx

We head back into the village, we come across some seats next to a fountain, so we go and sit on them. Once we are sat down, Steven takes hold of my hand, and he gives it a squeeze. I place my arm around his shoulder, and he leans onto my chest.

" Hey Steven?"

" Yeah?"

" Tell me, a bit about yourself."

" Well I'm 25 years old, I have two kids, a best friend, and ex-dead husband, and an ex-girlfriend. Oh I also have an abusive step-dad, a mother who was a waste of space at the time, but she has also died. I found my real dad just recently, I also have a step-mam, two half-sisters and two nieces."

" You say an ex-dead husband? What happened to him?"

" Well I will start at the beginning of 2012, to make it easier for you to understand. His name was Doug, nothing really went far, until a few months into 2012. You or should I say Brendan fired me from my job and Brendan, also kissed a man right in front of me. It broke my heart when he did that, I was going to tell him, that I loved him, but he didn't want to listen to me and so that's when he fired me and snogged the man."

" Oh right, so what happened with Doug then?"

" Well, we got together in late May/early June. And Brendan kept on getting in the way of us, I also conned him into giving me his money and the deil for myself. But we still kept on talking to each other, but in only realised my true feelings for Brendan on two occasions. One was when Lynsey had died, and the second one was when, Brendan nearly died at a holiday home in Southport."

" In November 2012, me and Doug where due to be married, well we did get married. But it didn't last long, as he tried to get Brendan sent down for something. So I left Doug in December, and I followed Brendan to Dublin."

" Hey, stop for a moment. I remember that, you leaving Doug and going to Dublin."

" What, you do?"

" Yeah, I do. So how did Doug and your mam die?"

" Well when Brendan went to prison. Me and Doug where giving our relationship another go, and my mam came back to see me. She told me that she was dying, and that she needed to see me before she went. But I should of realised that she was using me, cause she wanted me to help her die instead. So that's what I did, I helped her. I got in a bit of trouble for it and almost went to prison but I got a two year suspension. So me and Doug decided that we where going to have a fresh start, and we where going to leave the village. We had a party at the council flats and there was a bomb that went off, a few people go killed and so did Doug."

" Awh I'm sorry to hear that, Doug must have been a nice person."

" Yeah, he was a nice person. I still miss him, sometimes."

" Ah right, do you?"

" Oh shit, I mean as a friend. I'm sorry Simon."

" It's fine Steven."

Steven looks up at me and he gives me a smile, he leans forwards and kisses me. I kiss him back, we opens our mouths and passionately kiss, with both me and Steven moaning in the kiss. We stop kissing, when people start shouting homophobic words at us. Me and Steven, don't listen to them. I put my arm around him again, and he leant back into me. We close our eyes of a couple of seconds, and we have a little rest on the bench.

We woke up a few moments later, with Steven's phone ringing. It was Cheryl, she said that she couldn't get Leah and Lucas into bed, as they where messing about. Steven said we where heading back, and that we wouldn't be long.

When he had finished on the phone with Cheryl, he checked the time on his phone and it was 9pm. I got off the bench, and I offered my hand to Steven to take hold of. He takes hold of my hand, and interlocks our fingers and we head back to the direction of our house.

Once we get back go the house, we hear Cheryl shouting. Steven opens the door and sees why she is, shouting at the kids for. We see Lucas, Leah and Padraig running the room, like idiots. Steven grabs hold of Lucas and Leah, while Cheryl takes hold of Padraig hand, and they walk to the kid's bedroom.

About 20mins later, Cheryl and Steven comeback through to the living room. Steven gets my stuff ready, once he is ready he comes back thorough to the living room and I take my top off. He places the syringe at my hole on my back, and he gives me my medication.

When he is done, he washes his hands and Cheryl keeps hold of my after I shake for a little bit. When I stop, I go to put my top back on but Steven stops me. He tells me, that we are going to bed. He takes hold of my hand, and he drags me off to his bedroom.

Once we are in his bedroom, he closes the door and he locks it. I head to the bedroom table, I take off my cover up mousse and I take out my eye contacts. When I'm done, I put my pyjama bottoms on and I'm about to do the same with my top, but Steven stops me and he drops it to the floor. I take hold of his hand, and I walk him to his bed.

We get into the bed, and Steven pulls the cover over us. I place my arm over Steven's shoulder and he rests his head on my shoulder and snuggles in a bit to get comfortable. Steven puts a hand around my body, and I take hold of it.

I interlock our fingers, he looks up at me and gives me this smile that makes my heart do a little flutter. I smile back at hims and I place a kiss on his forehead. Steven gets settled in the bed, and he gets more comfortable. When I see that he is a sleep, I whisper.

_'I'm sorry for hurting you in the past, please forgive me. I won't hurt you anymore, Brendan's hear now. I love you Steven and I have done for a long time. And I'm sorry, for stopping you visiting me in prison. And I should never have sacked you from the club, I was in a weird mood that time. I'm so sorry'_

Once I say that to him, I don't realise it that Steven moved his other hand a wipes away the tears that where falling from his face. I don't regret what I just told him, he needed to know the truth. So I know when we wake up in the morning, to admit what I just told him now. But all I need to do now, is to tell Cheryl, I don't know hoe she will take the news, but I need to do this. I feel my eyes starting to droop. So I close them and fall to sleep.

Xx

Please review and tell me what you think of it

I hope you liked this chapter, next chapter will be up sometime this week if I can do it.

I'm sorry if there is any spelling mistake in this, only a few more chapters to go and that will be it.

Just a bit of what is going to happen in the next chapter of this fic, 'in the fifth chapter Brendan/Simon will start to remember Cheryl'


	5. Chapter 5

I would like to thank, Scarlett, elijahlover, Alternative artist, Stormzzz and ForeverUlove for their amazing reviews.

I would like to give a shout out to Scarlett, she wanted some smutt put into this fic. But I don't really want to do that, when writing this fic, it wasn't going to have any smutt in it at all. There is a small part where Brendan/Simon and Ste are talking about sex, but that is it, I didn't feel like any smutt was needed.

Anyway, I hope you are all still enjoying this fic, I think there will be only one chapter left. I'm not to sure yet, but I will let you know in the next chapter if that is the final one, or if there is more another chapter.

In this chapter, Brendan/Simon will start to remember Cheryl.

Authors notes : mild swearing, references of a gun and references of a sexual context.

Sorry for the spelling mistakes, that are in this chapter.

Bit of a long chapter this is, the next ones might be longer or shorter I'm not to sure yet.

Here is the next instalment.

Chapter 5

Xx

I wake up shaking, I don't know what is going on. Steven wake up next and he can see, that something is going wrong with me. He gets out of bed and he runs to the kitchen, like a lightening bolt to get my medication. When he comes back, he has it all sorted and he places the syringe at my hole, he pushes it inside me and I feel the medication running through my body.

Once he has done, he puts the syringe on the bedside table next to him and he turns to look at me. When I stop shaking for that little bit, I turn to look at him and I can see him fighting off the tears. I pull him into a hug, he wraps his arms around me and I do the same to me, he keeps a tight hold of me, like he doesn't want anyone to take me away from him.

" Steven, what's wrong?"

" I was so scared then, what happened? Do you want me, to call Dr Russo for you?"

" No, I will see if it happens again and if it does then we can call him. I'm sorry I scared you, I scared myself as well when doing that, I don't know what happened. We can't tell Cheryl, she will try and send me to Dr Russo to see what is wrong with me."

" Don't worry, I won't tell her. It's just between us. Erm, I heard you last night, and I love you too. I didn't know where starting to get some of you memory back."

" I didn't know myself, until it had seen Leah, Lucas, Declan and Padraig again, that is when my memory started to come back slowly. And they you Steven for brining my kids down here, I've missed seeing them and I'm so glad that I've caught up with them. Just to let you know, I told the kids first, that I was getting my memory back,"

" What, when?"

" When you and Cheryl, went to get some rented DVDs. I told them then, Leah and Lucas where happy, but it was confusing for Declan and Padraig. But I think they have taken it well. Well I hope they have taken it okay,"

" Yeah, I'm sure they will,have taken the news well. Oh I'm so happy, that your starting to get some of your memory back, what do we tell Cheryl?"

" Well I was hoping, that me and Cheryl could go out. And I could tell her then."

" Yeah, of course. So do you remember anything more, about me Bren?"

" Well, I think I can remember us having amazing and mind blowing sex in the past. I can see you trembling now,when I hit you in that perfect place to make come."

" Oh yeah Bren, we did have amazing sex. We had it everywhere, and we did it in different positions that we could think of. You loved it, when we had sex."

" Oh, did I now. How amazing was it Steven?"

" Very amazing, you loved it when I rode you. You love that position for us, and on a few occasions, you would let me fuck you. But I wasn't very often."

" Oh god, I didn't know it was like that sometimes."

" Yeah it was, we both loved the sex sessions, we used to do. Your cock was amazing all the time them, I bet it still is now."

" Well Steven, I hope we get to do it one day. But I don't think zombies and humans can do it. I might ask phone up Dr Russo and ask him, but don't yet your hopes up Steven."

" Okay then, so what do I get to call you. Simon or Brendan?"

" Well Simon, when we are with Cheryl. But Brendan when me and you are alone with the kids."

" Good, kiss me Brendan."

" My pleasure Steven."

I lean forwards to Steven, he smile as me when he looks at me. He does that a lot Steven, smiling at me all the time. We press our lips together, we moan into the kiss as well and our warm tongues touched, when we opened out mouthes to deepen the kiss.

We stop when there is a knock on the door, Steven goes up to the door and he unlocks it. Declan pokes his head around the door, and he asks if we are getting up. Steven says yes, and Declan asks us if we can go to the park. I say yes before Steven does, and Declan shuts the door so he can go and tell the others.

I tell Steven that this is a good idea to tell Cheryl what is happening, Steven agrees with me on this. He gets out of bed, and gets changed. He tells me he is going to make a picnic for when we are at the park. When he leaves the bedroom, I Get out of the bed and put some clean clothes on. I head over to the table, and I put on my mousse and my eye contacts.

I count up how many, boxes of eye contacts and how many tubs of cover up mousse I have left. I see I have five of each stuff left, I leave the bedroom and I go to the kitchen. When I'm in there, I have a count of how many, Neurotriptyline's I have left. I have six left, I see that phone on the kitchen unit, I pick it up and call Dr Russo.

When he answers, I ask him kindly if he could send me some more of the stuff I need. I tell him how many I have left, and he says that he will bring me them tomorrow. I tell him about what happened this morning, and he tells me to keep any eye on it, if it happens again. He tells me, he will be here at 10:30am and that I have to be in when he comes to give me my stuff.

I tell him okay, and we both hang up the phone. I put the phone back on the kitchen unit, and Steven comes through to see me. Steven asks me what's wrong, I tell him what I told Dr Russo about this morning, and I tell him I have to keep any eye out for it happening again. I also tell Steven, that Russo is coming tomorrow with some more stuff for me.

" Hey Bren?"

" Yeah Steven."

" You have a nose bleed starting."

" What! Are you sure?"

" Yeah you do"

" Shit"

I run to the bathroom, and I look in the mirror to see that Steven is right. I use the back on my hand to wipe it away, once I've done that, I go back to the kitchen. I tell Steven that I'm okay and that I will call Dr Russo later.

Steven smiles at me, and says okay. He walks up to me and kisses me, on the lips. I open my arms and he walks into them, he places his own arms around my neck and I place my arms around his body.

We stop hugging each other, when Cheryl comes through, she asks is we are ready to go to the park. Steven pulls away from me, and says yes. He picks up the picnic bag, and he puts is underneath Lynsey's pram.

He goes to the living room to makes sure that, the kids have their coats on. He helps Leah with the zip on the coat, once he's done that, he goes into the hall way to get our coats. Once we have them on, he makes sure that we have everything, once he's done that, we leave the house and head to the park.

Xx

When we arrive at the park Lucas, Leah and Padraig run off to climbing frame. Steven tells Declan to go and keep an eye on them, and he will call them over when they need something to eat.

Me, Steven and Cheryl head to the benches with Lynsey, that is near the climbing frame. We sit chatting for a little bit, well that is until Leah shouts for Steven. He goes over to them, he smiles at me and nods his head at me to tell Cheryl.

When he has gone, I sit on the seat Steven was sitting on so I'm facing her. When I'm sitting in front of her, she gives me a smile and I smile back at her. She has this worried expression on her face, but I grab hold of her hand and squeeze it to relax her.

" Hey Cheryl?"

" Yes Simon"

" What happened to our dad?"

" Urm, I shot him."

" Why? Why did you shoot him for?"

" He was trying... trying to rape Brendan."

" So if you shot him, then why did I go to prison for?"

" Because Brendan was protecting me, Brendan didn't want me going to prison. So he took the blame instead, I told him no and that he had to live the rest of his life with Ste, but he didn't listen to me."

" Well it's true I didn't want you going to prison, your still young. As you had a life with Nate, speaking of Nate where is he?"

" Erm, he died a few months ago in a house fire in Ireland. What do you mean it's true, that I shouldn't of gone to prison. Brendan is that you, are you getting your memory back?"

" Yeah Chez it's me Bren, and yeah I'm starting to get some of my memory back. But I don't know when I will have it fully back, but I'm hoping it will be soon. Aww Chez I'm sorry about Nate, I know you loved him, I could tell that you where starting to fall for him when we where in Southport."

" Yeah I did, I miss him so much Bren."

" I know you do, come here and give your big brother a hug."

Cheryl comes over to the other side of the bench, and we hug. It's been a while since I've hugged her, and I've missed doing this. She's my baby sister and she will always be, no matter what happens to me.

I look at my hand, and I see it starting to shake, Cheryl pulls away from me and can see that something is going wrong. I fall off the bench seat, and I can hear Cheryl shouting at me and for Steven. And that's the only thing I can here, until I pass out.

Xx

I don't know what happened next, as I'm sitting back on the bench. Leah, Cheryl and Padraig are crying. Steven, Lucas and Declan are looking and me, and they are giving me worried looks.

" Urm, guys why are you looking at me like that for?"

" You don't remember?"

" Well if I did, I wouldn't be asking now. Would I Chez."

" You fainted Bren, Cheryl called me over to help you. Lucky enough I packed up one of your medications for you."

" Thank you Steven for going that and thank you Chez for saving me too. I'm so sorry I scared you kids, I didn't know it was going to happen. It won't happen again, I promise."

" We where so worried dad, please say it won't happen again?"

" I don't know son, but if it does happen, you and the other won't be around."

" Okay dad, hey Ste? Can we have something to eat now?"

" Yeah, come on then."

They all eat while I watch them, Steven keeps hold old my hand while he is eating. All the food that Steve has made looks amazing, I really want to pick something up to eat, but I know I can't. Steven looks at the frustration that is on my face, and he give me this sorry look on his face. I bite the bullet and pick up a seedless jam sandwich and I eat it.

When I've finished eating it, I'm shocked to find myself not feeling sick. I don't understand what is happening to me, I shouldn't be feeling like this I don't think. I'm not eating anything else anymore, just incase it was a one of and I go back to being sick again.

Steven has a shocked look on his face, I shake my head and he understands what I mean. Once the kids have finished, they ask Steven if they can go back to the climbing frame and he says yes.

They kids go back running off back to the climbing frame again, Steven tells Cheryl to go and keep and eye on them, while we can look after Lynsey. When she leaves, Steven gives me flirty look and he blushes when he does this. He cleans up the table, and puts the rubbish in the bin.

He comes to sit beside me, and places is hand on my hand. He squeezes it hard, and I feel it when he squeezes it. I really don't know what is going on with me, so I'm going to ask Dr Russo tomorrow and he can tell me a bit more about it.

Steven gets his phone out, and checks the time. It's 4pm, and he needs to get the kiss home, so he can give them their tea's. He shouts them over, and tells them it's time to go. When they come over, he makes sure that Leah and Lucas have their coats on again and we leave the park.

Xx

While walking home, we make a pit stop at Price Slice. Steven and Cheryl want some alcohol and the kids want some sweets. Cheryl goes in for it all while we keep an eye on the kids.

We see Steven's Dad coming closer towards us, and he looks like he is not happy. He comes closer to me again, and he pushes me against the wall. Steven screams at Daniel, and tries to pull Daniel off me. But Daniel pushes him to the floor and he smacks his head off the newspaper stand.

I push Daniel out the way and I attend to Steven, I help him off the off the floor and he takes hold of the back of his head. Steven is fighting back the tears, he's brave my boy. All ways has been and all ways will be.

" Dad, what they hell was that for?"

" Ste, you need to keep away from him now. These Rotters are getting these pills, to make them rabid again. So you, the kids and Cheryl need to come with me, and I can keep you safe from him."

" No! I'm staying with him, so is Cheryl and the kids. He is my boyfriend Dad, and no one is going to take him away from me."

" Ste you need to come now, your my son and I don't want to see any of you hurt. So please come with me now."

" We are staying with Simon Dad, and there is nothing you can do about it. Right?"

" Ste, please?"

" No Dad, just go home"

" I'm sorry, I have to do this Ste."

I hear a gun clock, me and Steven both look at Daniel and see he is pointing the gun at me. Steven is crying again, he comes to stand in front of me. Declan does the same, and so do Cheryl when she comes out of the shop.

I hear some women shouting, they run towards Daniel and tell him to drop the gun. He doesn't listen to them, so they walk towards Steven and they stand in front of me. When Daniel take one look at the women standing in front of me, he drops the gun from his hands and he falls to the floor crying.

Tegan, Leela and the other woman that is with them go to see if Daniel is alright. Steven wipes away his tears, and he goes to check if his dad is okay. Steven pulls him up off the floor, he pulls him into a hug and I'm sure I can her Daniel say sorry to Steven for that he was about to do to me.

I hear Steven, tell Daniel that he has one more chance to behave and to stop him from trying to change his mind when it is already made up. Daniel nods his head, he comes over to me and shakes my hand. I say reflex and he understands, Daniel tells me he is sorry. I tell him is okay, as I would have done the same if it was my kids.

Declan asks Steven if we can go home, he says yes and he tells Daniel they can come over. Daniel tells him he will think about it, and he will call him if they where coming over or not. Daniel shakes Steven's hand, once he's done that. He bends down to Lucas and Leah's level and he tells them, he is sorry for what happened. He stands up, and he says the same to Declan and Padraig.

Once Daniel and hid family have gone home, we do the same. I try and take hold of Steven's hand, but he doesn't take notice of what I'm doing. When we arrive home, Cheryl lets us in the house. The kids go and put their pyjamas on, while Steven puts their tea's on. I take off my coat, and I go to sit in the living room. Cheryl come through with Lynsey and she gives me a smile, she asks me if I'm okay. I tell her yes, but I also say that I don't think Steven is okay with me anymore.

" Erm Steven, maybe your Dad is right."

" What! What are you saying Brendan?"

" You all need to go, and stay with them. I could turn rabid, and I don't want to kill any of you. I love you all so much, that it would break my heart if I killed any of you."

" No Brendan, we are staying with you and we are not going anywhere. I made my choice, so I'm sticking with it. You are my boyfriend, and I am helping you to get better. So no one is going to take, you away from me."

" Are you sure, Steven?"

" I'm sure, I love you too much to let you go again Bren."

" I love you too Steven."

Steven walks from the kitchen to the living room, and come to sit next to me. I open my arms and he leans back, on to my chest. I warp my arms around his small body frame, and his breathing starts to slow down and I hear small snoring noises coming from him.

The kids come through and they quieten down, when they see that Steven has fallen to sleep on me. Declan and Padraig sit down on the floor, while Leah and Lucas sit on some chairs, that is next to a small table. When the timer goes off on the cooker, Cheryl goes to dish out their food and I fall to sleep like Steven has.

Xx

I find myself waking up when Steven does, I see that Leah, Lucas and Padraig are not in the room. Cheryl tells us it's 7:30pm and that the kids have gone to bed early she has it on Britain's Got Talent that has just started, so me and Steven start to watch it.

We hear a knock on the door, and Cheryl goes to answer it. Steven gets up from me and he goes to help her, with the take away while she pays for the food. She closes the door, after she had paid him and goes to help Steven dish out the food.

Declan comes back into the living room, after checking on Lynsey. He asks me, if I've had my medication and I say no. He goes into the kitchen, and asks Steven if he can have a go giving me my shot, and Steven says yes. I see Steven get getting my medication ready, and he gives it to Declan. They both come through to the living room, and Declan goes behind me to give me my shot.

Once he's give me my shot, I shake of a little bit and he walks off to the kitchen. He washes his hands and he helps Cheryl to bring the plates through. When they come through, Declan gives me a plate and he gives one to Steven as well. I put it in the arm of the chair, and I will wait until Cheryl and Declan are though here, so I can tell them what is going on with me.

" Hey Bren, why ain't you eating for?"

" Well, I'm not supposed to eat. But when we where at the park, I picked up a sandwich and I was fine after eating it. So I don't to want to eat anything just incase before was a one off, and I'm sick after eating this."

" Oh right, I didn't know. What about drinking, can you still do that?"

" No, that's the same as well. I'm not chancing anymore stuff. Just until I've been seen by my Doctor, and then we can see what happens after that"

" Yeah, okay Bren"

Declan, Cheryl and Steven carry on eating, while we are watching TV. When they have finished, Declan takes the places into the kitchen and he washes them. I open my arm and Steven, leans back onto me again, and I place my hand in his shoulder.

Cheryl is flicking on the TV channels, she stops when she gets to one of her favourite shows. I don't really take an interest into the show, so I whisper into Steven's ear if we can go to bed. He looks at me and says yes, we say goodnight to Cheryl and Declan, and we head to Steven's bedroom.

Once we are in Steven's bedroom, he shuts the door and he locks it. He starts to, strip out of his clothes and puts on his pyjama bottoms and not his top. I do the same as Steven. Once I have my pyjama bottoms on, I go up to the table and take off my cover up mousse and I take out my eye contacts. When I've done this, I go up to the bed, I get under the covers and Steven does the same.

I place my arm, around Steven's shoulder and be places a hand on my chest. He moves it to where my heart is supposed to be, I feel him remove it and place it back on there. He looks up at me, and he has a confused look on his face.

" Steven, what's wrong?"

" Bren, place your hand where mine is. Cause I can feel your heart, beating again."

" No Steven, you must have that wrong."

" I don't, just have a feel now."

When I do what Steven tells me, he's right. My heart is beating again, I can't believe it. I really don't know what is happening to me, I can't be turning human again, can I?

I will have to ask Dr Russo tomorrow, I really don't know why this is happening to me for, I feel Steven's breathing slowing down again, and he's falling to sleep again. He takes hold of my hand and he interlocks our fingers, and I feel him squeezing my hand, I have my feeling back.

Xx

Please review and tell me what you think of it

I hope you liked this chapter, next chapter will be up sometime this week if I can do it.

Only a few more chapters to go and that will be it.

Just a bit of what is going to happen in the next chapter of this fic, 'Dr Russo is back and he tells Brendan/Simon is starting to turn human again.'


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